Ara Ara’s Mind

{AN: Welcome to the first glimpse into BSH. Very excited to share this and I cannot wait for this story to develop more over time. Based off the song “Good For Nothing” by The Wrecks.}

As soon as the slap connected, a switch flipped in her brain. With the sound echoing in her ears, Spencer could see this place for what it was. Pretentious, dull, and muted. An educational void to fill an emotional one. How had she found herself here? Was this really what she worked hard to achieve?

Spencer felt the world pause, but knew it wasn’t true. No one would give her time to think or process. No one would really care to learn her reason. They would want answers she didn’t have yet. Only adding to their fear of the unknowable, unpredictable black woman. How would they react when “one of them” fed directly into the stereotype Spencer tried hard to avoid? What would it look like for her racist colleagues and co-workers to be right?

She only felt pressure in the silence.

There was a nagging in her brain telling her to grab her things and run. “I promise, they do not deserve an apology.” it assured her. Pushing through the looming emptiness, Spencer grabbed her notebook and left. Her lab coat shifting roughly against her clothing as she ran. She expected shouts, maybe footsteps trying to catch up to her, but there was none. Just the same sting of florescent lights. The same creek of linoleum under her feet.

She feared these ordinary sounds, quickening her pace. The environment was not reacting to her. Maybe she was speed walking to her doom. Alternatively, no one in this building could care about anything she’s going through. It might even be that her colleagues, would write this offense off as a tantrum they expected her to get over.

She narrowly evaded breaking the glass door at the thought.

Spencer crashed when she got outside, trying to find her breath in this terrain she once knew. Exclusively finding foreign things she hadn’t noticed before. When had the grass turned yellow? When had the flowers died across the street? When did everything become so cold? Where was the Sun hiding?

All these little things she failed to notice around her. All these conflicts she chose to ignore.

She is almost a ball of self-pity when she hears voices. As these women pass, Spencer took note of their stride, confidence, and comfort. Her situation was out of control, but she refused to miss a moment to learn.

The woman on the left briefly glanced her way and Spencer struggled to place the expression.