Ara Ara’s Mind

{AN: This short story is based off the song Cowboy Killers by Leaving for Arizona. It takes place from the perspective of Aloe, a character from Backbone. I hope you enjoy!}

My skin still steams from the heat of the party, but I pull my jacket closer to me anyway.

“What are you thinking about?” Smoke pours from her mouth and I have to pretend like I didn’t hear the lilt in her voice.

“How I can get out of here.” The liquor I’ve consumed talking for me.

“Why don’t you just leave?” She questioned, offering me the cigarette.

“Because it’s easier to stay.”

I feel unreal as the words leave my mouth. Merely a monster in a human’s suit. I mourn the life I was waiting to receive, because this isn’t it. This is not the world I longed to create for myself.

But maybe it is. Maybe I set myself up to share a cigarette with a girl I know I’m going to hookup with later. Maybe this is all I get, all I deserve.

I look around at this bland, gray apartment building. Searching for something else, something different. Only to find more of the same. I pulled from the cig, trying to accept that I am stuck here.

There is a flash from one of the window. A person’s tea lights transition through various stages.

“Aloe.” The girl reminded me.

“Here.” I pass the cigarette back, barely noticing that she is a real person in front of me.

Still feeling alone with humanity surrounding me. I sigh deeply as I let my captivity wash over me.