Ara Ara’s Mind

{AN: 9/7/2025; I wrote this while refusing to do work at the library. I feel as though I have outgrown that job and desire more. This short piece is really a goodbye to the library (and retail jobs in general) and a parting with the preconceived idea of stability. I also see this as a letter to the beast that longs for control within me. We were once entangled, but I feel myself pulling further and further away. Enjoy}

I want more. I am more. The cycles we go through have become uninteresting to pursue. Nothing I want.

I’m bored and I can tell you’re getting tired of me. Let me go, let me move on. You can’t hold me forever, you can’t control me forever.

I am meant to be free. I am meant to have wings that take me wherever I please. Nothing you show me will change that. Nothing will stop me from evolving. It is my destiny.

I can imagine holding on to you forever. Surrendering my dreams of comfort. Learning you, like I could ever come out on top. I can envision giving everything I have to you. To help you. To change you. All the while ignoring your lack of want and desire for it.

Everyone see right through you and still bends. You are not hidden. You never will be. I won’t miss you when you finally leave me, but I’ll remember how much I tried. I’ll remember how deeply I wanted to love you.